Profit Analysis: Hair Band Concert Tees

I love fashion, I love music and I can also be very lazy, so I love me some concert tees.  I live in those babies and I’m pretty sure that I’m wearing one in almost every other Facebook photo of me (see left).  My favorites that I wear at least once a week are the feathery soft and durable VHS or Beta, super comfy Band of Horses and a not-long-for-this-world Silversun Pickups.  Rest in peace disintegrated Presets and wine-stained Bat for Lashes (which, by the way, Quinn Fabray complimented me on when I went to a Glee cast signing last year, yeeeee!).

So imagine the fun I had when I decided to work on a “pop-culture analysis” of the vintage band t-shirts from Scout Vintage T-Shirts in Nolita. Here, we’re talking ridiculously overpriced t-shirts from classic bands, like Motley Crüe, Van Hagar, The Cars…it was a riot.  I managed to cobble together this pretty awesome line graph for Racked NY showing that the Crüe totally kicked Elvis Presley’s butt with a $188 t-shirt vs. the King’s paltry $98.  Even White Lion and Slaughter commanded $148 and $128 respectively (although I think Slaughter should have been worth more since they had at least two songs we remember – “Fly to the Angels” and “Up All Night” – versus White Lion’s only one and not as good song, “When the Children Cry”, and YES, I admit to knowing that.) And of course, those prices are off the charts ridiculous, which got me thinking.  I went to quite a few questionable hair band concerts back in the day, so what profit opportunities have I missed by neglecting to purchase a t-shirt?  My hair metal concert confessions, after the jump.

Warrant: I’m just going to guess we attended this Warrant World Tour concert because I recall driving at that point, so it had to be 1990 or after.  Turns out if we bought one of these ugly and kind of offensive tees, we could have sold it for $149.90 on eBay. Damn! Missed opportunity, number one.

Slaughter: We already know what profit opportunity we missed there – $128 at Scout Vintage T-shirts. My friend Garce still talks about that concert to this day because she claims that Mark Slaughter pointed at her from the stage.  And she might be reading this right now, so I’m going to say yes, he most definitely did point at her and we totally should have bought ourselves shirts. Maybe Mark would have signed our tees and then we could have made an absolute fortune.

Firehouse: Now this band must have opened for every single hair metal concert in the early 90’s because I swear that I’ve seen them at least three times in concert.  I am having the hardest time finding a vintage Firehouse t-shirt online, though. Maybe because die hard fans don’t want to let go of them or…all the tees are being used as dust cloths now. So conclusion – this would have been a bad investment. Moving on.

Trixter: My friend Hang and I went to see this band during a trifecta of hair metal – Warrant/Trixter/Firehouse (oh yeah) in the big neighboring city of Battle Creek, Michigan.  They were apparently too big for our town.  We don’t hear about this band much anymore. Therefore, taking inflation into account, we would have broken even with this bad-boy selling on eBay for $69.99.

Nelson: Since I’m in full confession mold, yes, I have attended not one, but two, Nelson concerts. That “Love and Affection” was pretty catchy, plus, you must admit that the Nelson bros have aged really well and are quite entertaining on the VH1 I love the 80’s specials.  I’m not even going to bother finding a vintage one because I know my friend Jennifer did in fact purchase a concert tee (along with a pillow case, awesome). Her tee actually looks almost identical to this “20th anniversary rocker” Nelson tee, which could be yours and brand new for $37.65.

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3 thoughts on “Profit Analysis: Hair Band Concert Tees

  1. Was Firehouse “Love of a lifetime”? I still mourn the loss of my VHS T at the hands of kitty Omar. Bad Kitty! The next time Jennifer comes into town we should arrange a Grace & Jennifer dinner so they can go off about Nelson. Love & Affection so much fun to sing at Karaoke! I love my Band of Horses t!

    • I thought the VHS or Beta shirt was durable, but I guess it can’t survive a kitty attack. That would be SO funny to get the world’s two biggest Nelson fans in one room together.

  2. Marc Slaughter DID point at me! Fawnia!!! Grrr…

    And yes Elaine…I’m so ready to karaoke with you!! Let’s do this! I wasn’t the big Nelson fan (that was Jennifer) but I’m not opposed to singing any of their songs via karaoke!!

    And BTW Fawnia…he pointed at me. Right? RIGHT?!!

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